Some fun reading for the Morning

1.    She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"  I will  probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.... 2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80.   My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,  "Did you start at… 1?" 3. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.  "We used to skate outside on a pond.   I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony.  We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed,  taking this all in.  At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!" 4.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''  "You're both old," he replied. 5. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.  "What's it about?" he asked.   "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read." 6.  I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out  something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun for me, so   I continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors  yourself!" 7. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure."  "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised  "Mine says I'm 4 to 6." 8. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today."  The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said...  "How do you make babies?"   "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'." 9. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote:  "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."   The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child." 10. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.  "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

xoxo, 
Vicky 
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