2. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
3. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
4. I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
5. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
9. Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
10. There is a great need for sarcasm font.
11. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
15. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
16. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
17. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
30. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
31. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
36. Bad decisions make good stories
37. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
38. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
41. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
42. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
43. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
44. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
48. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
49. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
50. When I meet a new girl,/boy I'm terrified of mentioning something she/he hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
52. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
53. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers,but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
55. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
56. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
57. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
59. Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
60. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
62. It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com (or likewise) and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
63. I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
xoxo,
Vicky
P.S Put a link in the commentary-field when you´ve post this post, I like to read it :)
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